The Glory of Lawndale High
by Dave Hines
Summary: A new student arrives at Lawndale High. How will Daria and the other students deal with a bully?


"The Glory of Lawndale High"  
A Daria fanfic by Dave Hines  
boffo97@mail.com  
  
Continuity note: This fanfic takes place before "Jane's Addition", so no  
Tom.  
  
Chapter One: Another One Of Those Days  
  
Daria Morgendorffer was getting that feeling again. She sighed.  
Something stupid was going to happen today. Then again, in her life that  
described just about every day. She slowly pulled herself out of bed,  
showered, and dressed before walking downstairs.  
  
"Daria! You're still HERE?!" a shrill voice cried. This was not  
what Daria needed in the morning. In fact, this was not what she needed  
ever. Her sister Quinn continued to rant. "Sandi, Tiffany and Stacy are  
going to be here to pick me up in like five minutes!! Okay, okay... just  
stay away from the door and any windows, okay?!"  
  
Without waiting for a response, Quinn ran back into her room to  
hurriedly search for the perfect fashion, not realizing she could dress  
like Raggedy Anne and still be just as popular. Daria knew Quinn didn't  
mean to be as narcissistic as she was. She was still struggling a bit with  
maturity. Daria also knew that unless Quinn's friends were even more  
brain-dead than Daria thought, they already knew that Daria was Quinn's  
sister and were just being polite about it. Daria entered the kitchen.  
  
"Morning, kiddo!" exclaimed Jake Morgendorffer. "Your mom's left  
for the office already. Big case, you know." and then went back to drinking  
his coffee.  
  
"Morning, dad. And aren't they all." Daria ate some toast as she  
began reading the World News section of the paper that her father had  
already finished. She treasured these times where she and her father sat  
quietly together reading. She drank some juice as well, just so she could  
have an allegedly complete breakfast. Her father finished his coffee,  
wished Daria a good day and left.  
  
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Quinn's voice yelled "I'll get it!"  
After a slight pause, Quinn yelled "Ew! Well... get in here!" and the door  
slammed. "Stay away from any doors and windows."  
  
Daria's best friend, Jane Lane entered the kitchen. "Good morning,  
amiga." Jane began to help herself to some of the toast. Daria didn't  
begrudge her. Food wasn't always guaranteed in the Lane household.  
  
"Isn't 'good morning' an oxymoron?"  
  
"Quite possibly. What's Her Loudness, Quinn the First all worked up  
over?"  
  
"I think it's the big scrunchie-off today or something."  
  
"Really. That's funny because I was reading in Waif that hair clips  
were making a comeback."  
  
Daria raised her eyebrows at her friend, but understood the method  
of her madness when she heard her sister run up the stairs and into her  
room.  
  
Jane smirked. "Now we can make good our nefarious escape." Daria  
smirked in response and the two left.  
  
Quinn ran back down the stairs. "Jane, what issue was that hair  
clip thing in? Jane? Jane?! Daria?!"  
  
Chapter Two: Fight! Fight! Fight!  
  
As Daria and Jane approached the school, there was a large circle  
of students looking at something. Jane and Daria looked at each other. This  
was never good. They walked over to the group.  
  
Inside the impromptu circle, Charles "Upchuck" Ruttheimer III was  
being pummeled by a hulking, unfamiliar student. Upchuck was a mess. His  
shirt was torn, his nose was bloody and he had a black eye. By the typical  
rules of the playground, the fight was won, and Upchuck's assailant should  
have let up. But he didn't. Out from the school, Mr. DeMartino approached  
the melee.  
  
"Stop that IMMEDIATELY!" yelled DeMartino and he pulled the student  
off of Upchuck. For a second, the student turned to DeMartino and looked as  
if he were about to start attacking DeMartino next. "Don't even THINK about  
it, Mr. Gramm." DeMartino said as he narrowed his eyes and looked more  
dangerous than Daria could even remember seeing. The student backed down.  
DeMartino took out his walkie-talkie, "Mr. O'Neill, could you please report  
to the FRONT of the school?" O'Neill signaled acknowledgment and arrived in  
a matter of moments.  
  
"Mr. O'Neill, help Mr. Ruttheimer there to the nurse please. I will  
escort Mr. Gramm here to Ms. Li's office." He looked around at the  
students. "Don't the rest of you have CLASSES to get ready for?" The crowd  
dispersed.  
  
Jane and Daria looked at each other again. This was odd, even for  
Lawndale.  
  
Chapter Three: Meanwhile, In Another Part Of The School...  
  
After third period Art together, Jane and Daria split up again.  
Jane went to her Algebra class, whereas Daria was on her way to her AP  
Calculus class. On Daria's way, she spied Jodie Landon, whom she  
begrudgingly conceded that she had to consider somewhat as a friend.  
Usually, she tried to avoid Jodie in school, as Jodie seemed to have made  
it her personal mission to involve Daria in extra-curricular activities,  
which Daria avoided if at all humanly possible. But after the events of  
this morning, Jodie might have some information.  
  
"Um... hey, Jodie."  
  
"Hi, Daria. What's up?" the ever perky Jodie Landon replied.  
  
"There was a little bit of an... event outside of school this  
morning."  
  
"I wasn't there, but I heard. Not even Upchuck deserved something  
like that. He sustained a mild concussion, and he's going to be out for a  
little while, according to the rumor mill."  
  
"Not that that should affect the part of his body he actually uses  
to think. Who's the new land mass locked into tidal orbit around Lawndale?"  
  
"That's Sam Gramm. He just transferred here from Oakwood, and he's  
a pretty good defensive end. Kevin can't shut up about him, and even Mack  
seems a little enthused. Of course, he's Ms. Li's new golden child."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Beating up Upchuck might actually increase his popularity, but it  
worries me a little. Upchuck really didn't do much other than talk to a  
girl Sam was talking to at the time, and he wasn't even..."  
  
"'...in full Upchuck mode'?" guessed Daria.  
  
Jodie chuckled despite herself. "I guess that's a good way to put  
it. I just hope that was the last fight, you know?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Anyway, I've got to get to Poli Sci. See you later, Daria."  
  
"Later..." Jodie Landon departed. Daria looked nowhere in  
particular and quipped "In case anybody missed that, that was the  
exposition. Thank you." Then, she proceeded to her class.  
  
There was immediately a distant rumble that has very little to do  
with this story in response.  
  
Chapter Four: Bureaucratic Interlude  
  
"Angela, the RULES are quite CLEAR! Starting a fight carries a  
mandatory SUSPENSION from school and an even longer suspension from  
extraCURRICULAR activities!"  
  
"Now, now, Anthony" started Principal Angela Li in her ingratiating  
manner "Technically, the fight was outside of the school, was it not?"  
  
"It was on school PROPERTY!" retorted Anthony DeMartino.  
  
"But can we really call that school property? After all, not much  
learning takes place on the school sidewalk."  
  
DeMartino smelled a rat. "You're PROTECTING him, aren't you?"  
  
"Nonsense! It was a regrettable incident by a new student outside  
of our jurisdiction. My hands are tied. I've already sent him to Ms.  
Manson's office to discuss the matter."  
  
"Ten minutes with Ms. Manson does not sufficiently DISCIPLINE a  
student for administering an UNPROVOKED and CRUEL beating onto another  
student, even if it was Mr. Ruttheimer..."  
  
"How can we be sure that the... incident was unprovoked, Mr.  
DeMartino?"  
  
"There were at least TWENTY witnesses!"  
  
"Ah, but high school students are not commonly known as being the  
most... impartial observers. Mr. Gramm's talent does attract a fair amount  
of... jealousy. Not everyone can be such a contributor to the gloooooory of  
Laaaaawndale High!"  
  
Ms. Li's face lit up after that statement in a way that Mr.  
DeMartino had seen too many times before. This was the crux of the matter.  
He knew that there was going to be no convincing Angela Li to see reason  
this time either. She was just going to have to crash and burn yet again on  
her own.  
  
Chapter 5: Fashion Club Solidarity  
  
In a sight not uncommon to the halls of Lawndale High, the Fashion  
Club walked in unison to their next class. Sometimes, it seemed like they  
had exactly the same schedules as each other.  
  
"Did you hear what happened to Charles Ruttheimer?" asked Sandi  
Griffin in her deep voice.  
  
"Yeah! He got beat up by that new football player guy! He got two  
black eyes and a bloody nose!" Stacy Rowe supplied in her usual haste to  
see to Sandi's needs immediately.  
  
"Bloooooooooood? Eeeeeeeeewwww...." noted Tiffany Blum-Deckler.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tiffany!" Stacy immediately piped in.  
  
"Really?" asked Quinn Morgendorffer. She hadn't heard about that  
yet, and it seemed odd for Lawndale High.  
  
"I think I'm going to go out with him. I like tough men. I just  
need the perfect plan to get him to ask me." schemed Sandi.  
  
"Sandi," said Quinn, "are you sure that's a good idea?"  
  
"C'mon, Kuh-winn," drawing out Quinn's way in a way she knew  
utterly annoyed her, "you can't have all the football team for yourself.  
You already have Joey, Jeffy and... and..." Sandi paused. Joey? No, she hit  
that one already. None of the other members really looked like they had the  
answer to that one either. She continued, "Anyway, I am going to go out  
with Sam Gramm and... urf!" While looking backwards at the others, Sandi  
failed to realize that she had walked straight into the object of her new  
affections.  
  
Sam got a predatory smile on his face. "Oh, you are, are you?"  
  
"Um... er..." Sandi was the master of her own social circle but  
slightly unsure outside of it.  
  
"Chez Pierre. Tomorrow night. Where do you live?" He fished a piece  
of paper out of his backpack and handed it to Sandi. She had stars in her  
eyes as he wrote her address down.  
  
"Sandi... be careful!" Quinn whispered sotto voce at her. Sandi  
just stared at her in a mixture of anger and triumph, and walked off with  
Sam.  
  
Stacy and Quinn looked at each other with some worry in their eyes.  
  
Tiffany stared ahead at the departing couple. "Letting a girl bump  
into you is soooo wroooong."  
  
Chapter 6: Practice Makes Imperfect  
  
"Ow! That kinda hurt, Gramm-man!" Kevin Thompson said as he picked  
himself off the turf. Luckily, even though it was a no-pads practice, Kevin  
was wearing a his omnipresent light set of pads.  
  
"I told you to stop calling me that, you idiot!" Sam barked.  
  
'Mack' McKenzie knew all about attempting to get Kevin to stop  
using an idiotic nickname, but this wasn't right.  
  
"C'mon man, he's on our side. And it's a no-pads practice. Two-hand  
touch only."  
  
Sam got right into Mack's face and sneered "Don't tell me what to  
do, boy..."  
  
"Boy?!" He was certain just what sense the word was uttered in. He  
was offended, yeah, but he was suddenly glad Jodie's mother wasn't around.  
Mack realized he was going to have to talk to Coach Gibson about the new  
guy soon.  
  
"Good hustle, Gramm! Mack, get back into position for another  
play!" Coach Gibson yelled from the sidelines.  
  
Mack looked over at Coach Gibson and saw the undisguised glee on  
his face about the new player. Maybe he'd have to postpone that chat for a  
couple of weeks. He sighed and got back into the wide receiver position. As  
the ball snapped, he started running his route, but shortly there after  
heard another plaintive scream from Kevin.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
Chapter 7: Sandi's Date With Density  
  
Sandi frowned a little to herself. It just wasn't fair. Sam was  
nice to look at, and she was certain that this date would enhance her  
popularity. But... but... when Quinn described her dates with either Joey,  
Jeffy or... Jerry... nah... she had described them treating her almost like  
a princess. They showed perfect manners and went out of their way to get  
everything she could possibly want.  
  
Sam was brusque when he picked her up, even though he had a nice  
car, and then ordered for her without even asking what she wanted. The meal  
was alright, but she had had better. Then he proceeded to spend the whole  
time talking about himself. After that, he told her that they were going to  
go out for a drive. He was just so forceful and demanding that she couldn't  
bring herself to tell him that she wanted to go home. She became more  
concerned when Sam pulled off the road into a deserted section of the  
woods. She didn't like this at all.  
  
"Why so tense, babe?" Sam asked as he turned off his car, and put  
an arm Sandi. Sandi felt very warm. She rolled down the power windows as he  
nudged closer to her.  
  
"Just tired... I guess..." Sandi said looking for a way to lead up  
to telling him she wanted to go home.  
  
"I've got a way to wake you up." Sam said and he leaned in close.  
  
This was too much! "Sam," Sandi sais it a firmer tone of voice, "I  
don't kiss on the first date."  
  
"Well, that was other men. Not the Saminator."  
  
"I... said... NO!" said Sandi even more firmly.  
  
"Hey, you owe me for that dinner!" growled Sam.  
  
This was very, very bad. "Heeeeeelp!" Sandi screamed as Sam tore  
the shoulder of her dress.  
  
Outside, a door slammed and feet ran up to the car. "Sandi, shut  
your eyes!" Sandi recognized the voice and obeyed it for the first time she  
could remember. Sam looked up in surprise to see the red head who was  
walking with Sandi earlier. "Surprise!" Quinn Morgendorffer yelled as she  
began to liberally apply pepper spray to Sam's eyes.  
  
Sam screamed in pain and immediately jumped off of Sandi. Quinn  
opened the door and Sandi ran with Quinn back to her mother's SUV. Sam  
staggered, half blind, out of his car trying to find the two girls. Quinn  
managed to start the SUV and pull off before Sam could catch him.  
  
Sandi was just now starting to realize what had happened. "Quinn,  
what are you doing here?"  
  
Quinn replied, "You're my best friend, Sandi. Did you really think  
I was going to let you be with that jerk all alone? Now, with luck, we can  
get the SUV back to my house before a cop pulls me over or Mom misses it,  
and then we can call the cops. We'll tell them that Dar-"  
  
"No!"  
  
"What, Sandi?"  
  
"No police! They'll never believe me! Especially if they talked to  
Li!"  
  
Quinn sighed. Sandi was right. And she was so worked up over this,  
she was about to say that they could say Daria drove. Only Daria knew that  
Quinn had driven without a license before, and it would have been easy to  
talk her into this little white lie for a good purpose. Now it wasn't  
necessary. They drove on in silence for a while longer.  
  
"Quinn?"  
  
"Yes, Sandi?"  
  
"You're my best friend too."  
  
"I know."  
  
Chapter 8: The Saminator vs. The Criminales  
  
Sam Gramm was extraordinarily annoyed.  
  
He was going to really get that witch Sandi and her witch friend,  
just as soon as he found them.  
  
Suddenly, he caught something he recognized out of the corner of  
his eye. Take those glasses off one of those two geek girls, and she'd look  
a lot like that redhead!  
  
Sam stomped on the breaks and began to reverse.  
  
Daria and Jane had stayed a bit longer at Pizza King then they  
meant to, but they had walked there and back thousands of times before.  
Among their usual topics over their pizza, they had talked a lot about Sam  
Gramm, and how they were wrong about how it was impossible for Lawndale  
High to get any worse. Daria said she had some things she was going to be  
looking into, but didn't go into detail.  
  
Suddenly, a car pulled up next to them. Not quite parked, but out  
of the flow of traffic, and the very angry subject of their conversation  
got out of the car.  
  
"Hey, four eyes!" Sam called to Daria. Daria and Jane looked  
straight ahead and kept on walking. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" Sam  
bellowed, and then he took one of the bottles of beer he had stashed in the  
back of his car and threw it at Daria's feet. Daria and Jane jumped out of  
the way and looked at Sam.  
  
"Do you know who that redheaded witch is who hangs out with Sandi  
Griffin?!" Daria remained silent. Sam got another beer bottle out of the  
back of his car. "You'd better talk to me!"  
  
"She's my sister. May we go now?" Daria asked in a tone of total  
disgust.  
  
"Just what I wanted to hear! I've got a little message you can give  
to her!" Sam yelled and advanced menacingly on the girls. They hated it,  
but knew they were physically outclassed and began to run.  
  
Just as suddenly as Sam had arrived, a black van roared up from  
behind him, and cut him off from the two girls. From inside the van,  
affectionately known as the 'Tank', emerged Jesse Moreno, Max Tyler, Nick  
Campbell, and Jane's brother Trent Lane. These four were otherwise known as  
'Mystik Spiral'.  
  
"Is there a problem here?" asked Trent in as low and as dangerous a  
voice as any of his friends or his sister had ever heard him. Janey was the  
most precious thing on the face of the planet to him, and Daria was... he  
put that thought aside for a second.  
  
Sam looked at the group. Three scrawny geeks, one halfway muscled  
guy and the two geek girls. No contest. "Yeah, there's a problem. Your  
P.O.S. van is in the way of me delivering a little message to the four-eyed  
girl over there. So why don't you just back off?"  
  
Trent tensed up even more. "Ain't gonna happen, Slick. That's my  
sister and her friend. Why don't you get back in your little car and get  
back on the road, and we'll just forget this ever happened." Without taking  
his eyes off of Sam, Trent said "Janey, Daria, get in the Tank."  
  
Sam sneered. "Pretty protective of your 'sister's friend', ain't  
ya? You doing her or something?!"  
  
Trent was beginning to get a red haze around the field of his  
vision. He did not approve of anyone talking about Daria like that.  
  
The rest of the Spiral weren't too thrilled either. Jane and Daria  
were cool! Max grabbed at Sam's arm, and Sam swung in response. As per his  
usual tactic, Max ducked his head in to take the blow. Sam screamed! It was  
like punching an anvil full force! Did this bald dude have a titanium skull  
or something?!  
  
Trent took advantage of his distraction to swing the hardest punch  
he had ever thrown. He caught Sam right underneath the jaw. Sam flew back  
into the air and landed a few feet back, out cold. Trent looked at him in  
disgust. 'Don't you ever say anything like that about Daria again!' he  
thought, but couldn't say with Daria not far behind him. "Let's go." was  
all he said. The Tank drove off, just leaving Sam out cold in the street.  
  
About half an hour later, Sam came to. His eyes still stung, and  
now his hand and jaw fiercely ached. He was gonna get them all! He was Sam  
Gramm, and you didn't do this to Sam Gramm! When he got back to his car, he  
screamed in utter frustration over this horrible night. His stereo and  
cellular phone were gone. He had left his car door open when he had gone  
after those two girls.  
  
Chapter Nine: Everything Wrong Is Right Again  
  
"Li! You didn't think you were going to get away with this!"  
  
Jane and Daria were just approaching school at this point.  
  
"What's going on now?" asked Jane.  
  
"Just wait... " said Daria as she smiled her slight smile. More and  
more publically accessible information was available online these days.  
Knowledge was power, and anonymous tip calls were her best friend.  
  
"Principal McTavers!" Li sputtered, "What are you doing here and  
not back at Oakwood?"  
  
"Just getting back what's mine! You know as well as I do, that Sam  
Gramm lives in Oakwood's district with his parents instead of with the aunt  
and uncle you've listed for him in Lawndale's district! That's cheating,  
Angela, and you're not going to get away with it!"  
  
Just them, Sam arrived. There were those two geek girls... and  
there was Sandi and that witch redhead arriving. But he couldn't get them  
now. The principal was right outside the school. He also recognized  
Principal McTavers from Oakwood. What was he doing there? In fact, a pretty  
huge crowd of students was gathering.  
  
Tiffany Blum-Deckler arrived and stood near her Fashion Club  
friends. "Why is everyone standing here?"  
  
"There you are! Mr. Gramm, follow me back to Oakwood where you  
belong!"  
  
"Wait one moment! You can't prove anything! He's going to  
Lawndale!"  
  
"He's going to Oakwood!"  
  
"He's going to Lawndale!"  
  
"He's going to juvey!" crowed a new voice. A little worse for wear  
than normal, Charles Ruttheimer III stood with a suited man who was  
obviously a lawyer as well as a policeman. The policeman walked up to Sam,  
roughly turned him over Principal McTavers' car and cuffed him before he  
knew what was going on. "Samuel Gramm," began the officer, "you are under  
arrest for premeditated assault and battery on Charles Ruttheimer III!"  
  
"Hey!" Jane called out defiantly, "While you're at it, you can add  
assault on Jane Lane and Daria Morgendorffer!"  
  
"And, you can add attempted rape on Sandi Griffin!" Sandi yelled.  
The crowd gasped, and Quinn was proud of her friend's courage.  
  
Both Li and McTavers were making wordless sounds of desperation  
now, as the officer read Sam his Miranda rights. Suddenly a spontaneous  
cheer began from the students! Those of whom who Sam hadn't abused directly  
had heard about it and were disgusted with the way their friends had been  
treated.  
  
As Sam was loaded into the car and it pulled off, one of the  
students began singing and was quickly joined by the others. "Na na na na!  
Na na na na! Hey hey! Goodbye!" They repeated the old 60s chorus until the  
police car was out of sight, and then began filing into the school.  
  
McTavers and Li looked at each other, shocked for about five  
minutes. Then slowly, Li turned back into the school and entered it, and  
McTavers drove off back to Oakwood High.  
  
Only Tiffany Blum-Deckler was left outside. "It's soooo pretty  
today... hey... where did everybody go?" She entered the school looking for  
her friends.  
  
Conclusion: The Dragnet Ending  
  
Samuel Gramm was tried and convicted of the premeditated assault  
and battery of Charles Ruttheimer III; the attempted rape of Sandi Griffin;  
the assault of Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane; and the assault and  
battery on Maximilian Tyler. For these crimes, he was sentenced to the  
State Juvenile Detention Facility until he reached the age of twenty one.  
  
Lawndale High was found guilty of illegally recruiting football  
players from outside their district. They were sentenced into forfeiting  
their next game for having an illegal player in practice, and forfeiting  
their next game against Oakwood High.  
  
Angela Li and Coach George Gibson were the subjects of review by  
the Lawndale Unified School District. After closed hearings, Li and Gibson  
returned to their jobs with token punishments.  
  
And life at Lawndale High returned to normal.  
  
Author's Short Afterword:  
  
Sam Gramm's story wrapped up very nicely, but bullyism was a very  
large problem in my school, for myself and others, mostly thanks to  
administrations more interested in handing out punishments to all  
participants in a fight rather than trying to determine its causes, and a  
belief that telling about the bullying was useless and against the rules.  
It is my fervent hope that this situation is better today.  
  
Credits:  
MTV's Daria, Daria, Quinn, Helen, Jake, Jane, Trent, Jesse, Nick, Max,  
Sandi, Tiffany, Stacy, Jodie, Mack, Kevin, Upchuck, Ms. Li, Mr. O'Neill and  
Mr. DeMartino are all the property of MTV. All rights reserved.  
  
Sam Gramm and other characters are my creation, though I'm not too proud of  
Sam. I am not planning to use him in another story, but anyone interested  
in doing so can do so provided they contact me and let me know.  
  
If you liked this story, you might like my Star Trek fanfictions: "Lines  
As-Q", "Out of Time" and coming soon "House of Mirrors" available on my  
HomePage.  
  
Many thanks to the denizens of #Daria+ and PaperPusher's Message Board for  
help on this, my first Daria fanfic.  
  
To the Daria Staff, No, thank YOU! -- The Fans. 


End file.
